Why do I always fuck up conversation?

Here is an actual dialogue from my life:

*setting is with a lot of people, at a dance*

"Hey, why don't you like dancing?"
"I dance weird."
That's the best kind!"
"No... It's one of those things best done in the privacy of one's own home."
"Um..."

*awkward silence*


I always unintentionally make things seem sexual, or like I'm coming onto someone.
That or I completely act uninterested, or say something that sounds like an insult.
Or it's just bloody weird sounding.

And the worst thing? I'm not trying to be funny. It always comes out sounding serious and awkward.

I'm sure that's why my marriage failed.