I know what I want in life, you know? I know what will make me feel alive, what will bring me joy and make me feel useful. Life is one giant project with a due date that's too easy to procrastinate on.

But as with every project I seem to encounter in life, I don't know where to begin. I can see the end painting. but I don't know what medium to use. Or where to paint it. Or what to start painting with.

I don't know what job I want. I don't know who I want to spend my life with. I don't know where I want to live. All I know is that I want to be there for a few people. I want my friends to stick by me. But I want to be there and willing to die for that nuclear family.

I’ve spent countless hours trying to
justify.
Wasted some good time wondering why.
Pondering what made you change your mind,
and whether it’s fair to say you’ve been unkind.

But I got some peace knowing
It’s a common trouble of youth,
And my feelings towards you won’t

Always be so uncouth.

No one ever learns what they need
‘til it’s lost.
And I suppose it’s a blessing

To be spared that cost.

Was it that my motivation came too late?
Or maybe I’m just a hopeless puppet of fate?

I don’t like knowing it’s done.

At least what little was there was lived in my head,
and fun.
Now I know next time you’re in my life
To give it a go before it passes me by.